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The musing and sometimes not so wise words of Jonathan Dalrymple, Global Traveller, Programmer, Financial Rocket Scientist, Conspiracy Theorist, Part-time comedian, full-time funny man and whatever else i randomly decide to do.
"It's a nice case, made from aluminium(alu-min-num)"
Me "Any ideas about the router (row-ter) password"
Dave "You tried no password?"
Me "....no"
clears password field, press enter feels real stupid.
My Mum "Did I embarrass you when I called you"
Me "why would that embarrass me"
my mum "well I thought afterwards that you might be embarrassed"
Mrs. Miller "Are you having sex with him?(him being the father of her couple month old, baby girl)"
Dave "Do you know what your supposed to do if a workmate gets in contact with the {power}lines?"
Me "...Push them off"
Dave "The offical proceedure calls for you to jump kick them with both feet, off the ground, away from active line."
"This is bill, he's a protester removal specialist"
Ben "so why you not trying to get any of these hot girls"
Me "Some people think I'm gay"
Ben "Hey man that's all good what ever you gotta do, I'm cool"
{leans away from me and look quizzically at me}
Me "I'm just joking, I'm straight"
Ben "Nah its cool I'm ok with that, be yourself"
As Errol Rose made preparations on Monday to bury his 15-year-old son, Christopher, who was killed last week in Brooklyn during a fight over an iPod, he received a telephone call from a stranger. The man spoke in tones that the grieving father said had momentarily quieted his anguish.
Josh "You wanna play a few games?"
Me "Not really i was gonna read an article"
Josh "Well Carl beat me like 10-1, and i need someone to batter"
Me "Ok, since your on a downer i'll just complete the rout"