Sunday, December 31, 2006

2006; A year in Review

So 2007 is almost here, and i thought, what is the best way possible to look over the past 364 days. My only conclusion was a good ol' fashioned blog post. So here it is, 2006 in my humble opinion.


  • Getting my first Programming Job

  • Paying off my university debt

  • Becoming truly independent for the first time

  • Buying my first Mac (aka the Blackbook)

  • Remembering all the poetic crap that i wrote (Trust me theres a lot!)

  • Meeting my current batch of uni friends, especially one...

  • Going home at Christmas knowing i'm going back to uni

  • Meeting David Isaacs in a club in southampton

  • Writing my first real program, Hold On

  • Becoming a real programmer ^_^

  • Watching the entire Godfather trilogy

  • Being the best man at my Brothers wedding

  • Giving away an entire computer

Low points

  • Being asked to redesign Myspace sites That stuff is below me!

  • Not taking certain people out on dates

  • Leaving Uni to come home

  • Being unemployed for a month

  • Getting C&%$ blocked, when i had a hot Swedish girl in the bag (not that i'm bitter)

  • Staying in Southampton for a week after everyone had left for home

  • Going back into my old Sixth form (the weirdest thing i've ever done!)

Overall, as an outside observer can see, this year as been fairly average. But i must say that getting my Job at DSGI was most definitely the highlight of the entire year for me. All i can do is thank God and the nice folks at Kelly's Hemel Hempstead, for getting me that.

On the regrets side of things, nothing serious i liked a couple of girls, who in traditional fashion, i said nothing too, and allowed them to travel down their own merry road, into jonathan-less bliss. On second thought, that was the right thing to do. Besides, i'm some sort of player apparently.

For me 2006 was a year of maturity, become more of a man, and less of child. I still openly refer to myself as a child, rather than adult, or even young adult. I believe this to be i don't want to get ahead of myself. In my eyes a man is seen for what he is in another persons eyes, not his own.

Quotes of the Year
Dave Chappelle "They should have never given you niggers money"

Jumoke "I think i my laptop screen is broke"
Me "Whats up with it"
Jumoke "The screen stays dark"
presses the brightness button "Nah, it's fine"

Tunde "Hows the wife?"

Me "How old do you think i am?"
Numerous sources "24","28","22"
Me "Actually i'm 19, thats ok"

Jaimini "I spend more time with you than anyone else"
Me "Really, never noticed"

Teacher "Have any of you done any programming before?"
puts hand up
Teacher "Have any of worked with arrays"
puts hand up
Teacher "I'll just assume for the rest of the year, that you've done all of this before"

Me "Dalrymple is just my slave name"
Elle "Slave name? i don't get it"
Me "Well about 300 years ago ..."

Japhet "I don't appreciated being called monkey"
Me "You mean, just after you finished labelling me one?"

Lester "I went to get something out of my wallet, and there was this random girls driving license, i have no idea how it got there!"
Me "I need to go out with you guys!"

Nik/Nic "New rule, when we are out we don't talk about our course!"

Nik/Nic "All the people on are course are freaks"

Luke "He said he hates me, thats a strong word. Who hates someone?"

It's been a fun year

Happy 2007 everyone

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Programming Syndicate

As my journey to become an elite software developer continues, i've reached another milestone, and it's come a bit late, but its better late then never. I've starting using CVS, or Controlled versioning system. which automatically stores copies of my code, allowing better control over it.

Syndication, one of my new programming projects, has got to the stage where it can open and display a text file. Not a super feat in the grand scheme of things, but from idea to implementation in less than a week, thats not bad.

Next up on the coding hit list is Diggr, a lot of the stuff i'm learning on these other projects is moving my knowledge of OOP on by miles. However the whole VB thing is killing me, seriously it's a horrible language when you go back to it from C like syntax.

The work goes on, i can't sell what doesn't exist, this is tiger telmatics you know!

Friday, December 22, 2006

I heart Xcode

2007 will be a year of milestones for me, As i speak/type i've got three projects, planned for release next year.

Two Desktop apps, and one palm app.

They are as follows

Isolation :- Background Local HTML page Proxy (Multi-Platform)
Diggr :- Handheld Digg Client (Palm OS)
Syndication New!:- RSS Template Builder. (Multi-Platform)

Isolation and Syndication, should form the backbone of my commercial apps. Diggr will be my last big Palm OS project. Hate to say it, but it looks to me as if the platform is dead. Plus i'm starting to really hate Visual Basic. This Java + Swing stuff is just in a class of it's own.

As for release dates, well thats another thing. Diggr is at the most advanced stage of development, however it's held back by a couple of Libraries that i still need to complete and test (HTTP Client & XML Parser).

Isolation, has come a very long way, in a very short time, i started it last week, it's got a gui and a working server, and client.

Syndication, i "invented", and started in the last 3 hours.

But the real story here, is My Blackbook it's amazing. Incase you didn't know it apparently has auto sensing Ethernet ports, so need for patch cables here! Not that the last fact is important, just very cool. But seriously Xcode, best programming IDE i've used. I can see where Aptana gets some of it's zest from, heritage is quite clear in this case. The Battery life is pretty good, 5 hours with all the radios off. Speaking of radios, i'm starting to scare myself, i carry 6 radio transceivers on a regular basis! Two in each device 5 2.4 GHz(Wifi x2 Bluetooth x3) and 1 1.8/1.9 GHz(Cellular). I should really start wearing a tin foil hat.

Finally I'll be heading home to nice old Hemel on sunday, I'll be very busy over Christmas, mainly because i got to try and ship product. Companies with vapourware don't do very well in this modern economy. Plus if anyone remembers all those random people women i often blog about, scrap them i've replaced them all with a single person hot young lady, No hints She's all over flickr!. 2007 should be a good year, professionally and personally. Oh and before i forget, i've lost the password and login to my flickr account, so no new pictures for a while At least till i recover my windows partition ^_^.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year - Jonathan

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Mr. Moon

Merry Christmas, nothing heavy this morning. Just to put this in context, it's 20 to 6 in the morning, I've been out at Diva, since 10-ish. Yesterday was my staff Christmas party, from which i dont actually remember some bits. Currently i'm in my bed listening to Jamiroquai.

What is this post all about? Nothing i guess it just one of the random things to do. That and think about pretty girls who aren't here, apart from that nothing else.

Plus Black Macbooks although infinitely cool, suck when it comes to finger prints, this thing looks like it's owned by someone who exclusively eats crisps!

Quote of the Day
Luke "My dad knows this guy who helps him get his money back when people don't want to pay up"
Tunde "Yeah, thats called a heavy"
Me "And that thing where he goes to ask for the money is called a shakedown"

Luke doesn't want to admit it, but we believe his family to be part of Bournemouth's organized crime circuit

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

New Project: offline proxy

So my new Macbook is the best thing ever created. However it lacks something, offline web browsing. Now before you go off on one, i'm not going crazy. With the benefit of highspeed internet connections + larger hard drives, what is there to say that we couldn't have a system that stores several hundred pages of the web, for you to explore at a latter date. Plus it also has the benefit of possibly increasing your download speeds on (non-binary data at least).

So far in my head here is the plan.

a proxy server written in java. your os would point to the server, the server would get the requested data, keep a copy for itself, and return a copy to the requesting service/application.

So far that is very similar to current web browser caches, where it differs a little, is in the use of pre-fetching, lets call it dynamic pre-fetching. The server, downloads additional pages which it thinks might be used by the user, taking a maximium number of additional downloads into account to insure that it isn't killing the poor remote servers bandwidth for no real reason.

Now, on top the above, we use scheduled content refreshing, so every hour or so, we do a checksum on the remote, and local files to ensure that we have the most upto date files in our local repository. Plus have gui where the user can specify that they wish to update the content.

Now in what is a departure for me, this isn't a palm os application. But rather a platform independent java app, with next to no, gui component. I want it mainly to run on my mac BlackBook. But it has other uses, like when the nice old fog in southampton screws with my laser based broadband!

The only thing left is a name for this pretty little thing...

"disconnected", perhaps or "isolate", the later sounds like a good name. Anyways thanks to my wealth of experience with the http protocal, most of the research for this project, is already done.

The language of choice is java in this case, for a couple of reasons.
a} memory leaks would be a constant problem in application like this where i'm dealing with large amounts of data in the background, using managed code instead of a standalone deal like, C++ makes debuging a little less painful.
b) java is the courses language of choice, plus this is basically disertation material, which is always good.
c) I can run it on my nix box, and on my osx sexy book, i mean mac, plus all you windows people can enjoy it too.

Lastly, this one isn't going opensource, at least not the whole thing. I'm looking at going commercial here i need to earn back my £860 for this sexy black thing sitting next to me. So hopefully this should be a launch product for the firm, when it starts.

Anyways that was a long enough peice, time to do some ground research for this thing, catch ya later.

Quote of the Day
"Where Mrs. Lawman"

You ever get the feeling that your mates enjoy taking the piss?

Monday, December 04, 2006

Blackbook software list

I complete list of mac software thanks to "ls", bare in mind that some apps, like rapidweaver, i'm just trying.
Audio Hijack
Big Bang Board Games
Chicken of the
HexEdit Fat
PhoneAgent 1.3.1
StuffIt 11
You Control
iWork '06
jEdit 4.2


Also note, that i've tried really hard to stay away from power pc apps, and i use mostly open source stuff, actually this is my Dock

Damn this thing is sweet

When the core 2 duo Macbooks first hit the scene, never did i think that it would be as sweet as this.

This thing(i'm using it now) is so amazing, that i've fallen in love with it. Plus you know how all those people rave about mac OSX, and apple products in general. Well they have good reason too. This stuff is the very height of modern computing. Anyone who thought about buying a mac, don't wait, just buy the damn thing. But what ever you gotta do, don't get a black one, those are for me only.

Anyways, thanks to a "bit" hardcore configuration think days, i finally got mine to a state, where i'm proud to call it mine.

It's completely loaded with open source software and freeware. The only commerical program on here is parallels, with enables me to run windows xp in a window.

I use synergy to enable to use my main keyboard and mouse, with it.

Heres the convoluted setup.

Well until another day or time when i feel like being a loser by writing a blog that no one reads ^_^ , Blackbook, i mean jonathan signing off.

Quote of the Day
Random Guy "Can you get me MS office 2003?"
Me "What makes you think i can get that?"
Random Guy "You just look like the kinda of guy that does that kinda thing."

Now bear in mind that we are in the same class (internet Computing), and i was working on my Blackbook at the time, still interesting that i look like the kinda guy to get pirate software from, didn't he ever hear of Open Office, or better yet Neo Office!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

It's Here and its the best thing since sliced bread

The Blackbook, is finally here. And i must say that its the best thing since sliced bread.

My mate, Tunde, says it's "Sexy", personally i completely agree.

I can't believe that i waited so long to actually buy it, and i did several very sad things, which i won't admit to the video is coming soon

but enough talk heres a couple shots of it.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

No Blackbook, but loads of code

Despite apple screwing with me, i have managed to make progress in other areas. Diggr, an application that i started many moons ago, is moving ahead nicely.

The Database hookups, have gone in, and appear to be working nicely. The HTTP Lib that will enable the application to be independent of the hotsync, is almost at alpha/beta test stage. All that is left is the XML parsing engine, which will be the heart of this beast, and will be the make or break of the application. The quicker it converts, the quicker the user can start digging.

Here's a few screen shots from it running live in the emulator/simulator,

The nice n' shiny Diggr Icon, the red ring is actually a mistake. I'll remove it in later builds.

The main screen, from here you can digg stories, and enter the viewer screen as seen below.

The main viewer screen, there a few bugs in it, but it should soon look similar to my lovely mock up as can be seen in my flickr account.

Quote of the Day
"Hi my supposed senior member of stuff, thanks very much for the pay rise mark, 5 to nine and F*%* off!"

With great Incresed grits comes great responsibilty

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

China is a long way away

Right, i getting somewhat sick of hitting Refresh on this TNT tracking page. How long does it really take to unite a boy who has waiting 7 months for laptop with the apple of his eye? Coupled with this is the distinct lack of certain people, who happened to have disappeared off to sweden/bora bora.

Meanwhile i've downloaded every single mac application that catches my eye, All 51 of them. I've cleared a space on my desk, set a back aside to carry the Blackbook as it will be known. I almost wanna call them up, and explain to these folks who i am. Programmer extreme

Well it you see a plane with a black Macbook in the window, call me i'm expecting one.

Quote of the Day
Nick "They where drinking fish and milk on the stage"
me "And you wonder why i haven't been to jumpin jaks in two years..."

No matter where it is Hemel or Solent, jumpin jaks is always crap, and a exclusively crunked venue.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Blackbook cometh

I can almost taste it, and i'm not talking about chinese niether. Expected delivery, the end of this week! Can i survive till then, i'm really not sure. But it's very cool that it comes straight from the source, and halfway across the world. I think this is a fairly good reason to take a trip to the far east...

In case your interested it is configured as such...

2.0 GHz core 2 duo
1 GB DDR2 5300 Ram
120 GB HDD
6x Dual layer DVD burner aka "superdrive",

for the pretty price of £850 after student discount.

Not bad to be the envy of most mac users out there, now if you excuse me, i need to see if i can find the plane on google maps...

Quote of the Day
"You guys need to either drop the roses, or stop walking together before someone starts getting ideas."

Couple of my mates worked over the weekend, and came home with roses, they happened to be straight homophobes, so i thought i ought to lay down the law.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Why people go out with people of the same race.

Because it's too damn hard to do it any other way!
Black and White, and vice versa works "fine", but Asian/Oriental inter-racial relationships with either whites or blacks are next to impossible.
Why? I have not the slightest idea. If you don't believe me, just look around. I've heard people say that it's often because the parents want to keep the family relatively poor, besides who wants a black person in their family, they'll just get shot.
From personal observation, i find that the racial division is no longer between each individual race, but rather blacks and whites seperated from asians(indian sub-continent) and Orientals. Personally i don't care, but it's just so damn weird.

If your wondering why the hell this is bothering me, yet me explain. Theres this girl called j, nice and all. I go to her flat from time to time, and almost when ever i go, there is someone else there, and thus far they have all been asian, and looking to "get a peice". My black flat mates find it strange that i like her, mind you i do have weird taste in women, viki, clare, ....

Maybe it has something with my drive to experiment and try out new things, who knows. I think the barrier may be home life, and social environments. How do you explain fried plantain to an asian? Scratch that, how do you explain it to anyone outside of the caribbean lot.

I don't like to think of myself as ignorant, or nieve, but the world is so badly split into factions, it surprises me that we are still here today. I guess it's a good thing that money doesn't have a race, otherwise we would really be screwed.

Thats my racial rant for the day

if you wanna see pictures of the ever so cute j, and or anyone else that i've met thus far, check the flickr account. Till another time later

Quote of the Day
Teacher, pointing to T|X "You can get a version of Maple for that?"
Me "I'm fine with excel, really"

This damn weird set logic and generally weird maths is getting on my nerves.

Date Sickness

This epidemic is taking over the world, people left right and center are finding that they are no longer to entertain, their dates due to a mysterious sickness, some say it has links to freshers flu, others are doubtful saying that it may "pre-loseritist".

We spoke to one victim, Jonathan, from Southampton. "I asked this girl that i like round to dinner, but after cooking for her and one of my mates, i found that i could not summon the strength, to even talk to her let alone eat my own cooking."

We'll have more on this series of events in the near future...

Check out the new flickr pics, that i put up, most of them are of southampton, taken on my precious phone. Speaking of precious, it's taken me a week to work my way through lord of the Rings return of the King. 3 hours just isn't something i have.
This post is coming at ya form my Super T|X with it's amazing keyboard, and the GPRS hook up via BT (aka i love beening a geek).

Take care till another time.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

If only i had the magik stick...

Howdy, one and all. I do still blog once in a while. Where can i start ... well i give you a break down of the last couple of weeks

  • I started a weekly pro evo gathering -
  • I'm obessed with someone (no it's not chloe, think fitter than)
  • My macbook purchase will be taking place soon
  • i spent £400 in my first month in town
  • I got so drunk i was still drunk the morning after
  • I'm Aparently cool in some sort of capacity.
  • and funny too, like when did that happened
  • I've geeked out way too much

Thats about it, keep your eyes on the flickr account as the pictures, will keep rolling in, maybe even a few of J (that isn't actally a code name), it's a actual person, seriously.

Right i'll catch u all later

Quote of the Day
Schuester "My friend at the apple store can get 40% discounts"
me "Does your friend mind doing me a favour... "

The macbook is coming!!!!!!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

I Believe i can fly

Well i finally got my student loan, which is nice to have after 12 months. Works great, i have yet to visit the "house of g*sh", (their words not mine). My macbook purchase is now so close i can almost taste the black apple.

But the really big thing, is that i brought a RC plane, turns out i'm a pretty crap pilot, but i'm sure the kills on Ace Combat 5 knew that already.

Anyways i'm back in the big bad city, this weekend so i might try and do some catch up with work with all of you.

Till then, later

Quote of the Day
Chris"You ever thought about doing stand-up?"
Me "Not really, i cant be funny on demand, if i try it's not pretty."
Chris"What do you mean?"
Me"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

I leave the stand-up to keith, i'm a situation man give me an in, watch me work...

Monday, October 02, 2006

I want a Black MacBook Bad, i mean like, crazy bad!

Afternoon, As usual i've found some gadget that i want really bad. In this case, it's a girl, who i fancied last year, who i met again today, and haven't stopped thinking about her since a Black Macbook...
This think is wheel kicking good, i went to john lewis just so i could stare at it, and wish i could hug her it.

In other news i'm making friends, my whole flat gets on pretty well, their are a few quiet people. We go to the movies, play pro, did i mention that they are all boys, yeah, i got screwed again.

Otherwise all is good at the moment, i got my Job back, and got to do a stock take, yip pee. I built a entire site called DownTime, which is getting a nice reception thus far, it's kinda like a community portal, where people can share and rate media, and chat in the community forums.

Enough plug'n, i'm off to chill to cool "soundz" before i head to bambuu bar, check for me on

Quote of the Day x1
Lester "I was looking in my wallet, and i found this girls driving license, i looked for her name in my phone, and it was there, but i don't remember ever meeting her!"

And everyone wondered why i loved it so much, classic stories like that of course.
Quote of the Day x2
Tunde "Do you believe in sex before marriage?"
Jay "Yeah, but that was different, before they had condoms and S*&%"
Me "But you know that church doesn't believe in contrapception, right, which sorta destroys your whole loophole"
Jay "Yeah, but it's still different"

Jay will try and have sex with pretty much anything that moves, nice guy thou.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Second Time Southampton

Nothing too long winded too say, except, that southampton rocks as we are all well aware of. I made some stuff with PHP, which has some promise. But we'll have to see how that goes.

Missy Elliot is coming to town. this saturday, apart from that south is south, and west is east.

Quote of the Day
"Could you hack into the FBI?"
After a brief pause "Anything is possible"

My skills natural talent are starting to be noticed

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

сотый столб 2

Turns out my blog is called russian space station for a reason. What is this reason, i'm not quite sure myself, but what i do know is that Hold On is used in the mother land. Yes folks, my lowly first hash at development, is semi-popular in russia!

So here is the proof!

It's a Russian Palm Handheld, site that lists my application, my name, and my email. In fact thats how i found it, by googling my email address (don't ask).

Incase your worried that it's some sort of big russian mail order brides site heres a picture

In other news, i off to uni in two weeks, and i can't wait. Although i could swear that last time i filled out this part correctly, one can never be too sure...

Plus cause i'm open like that, i'll be living on the ground floor of the Camilla Block in Lucia Foster Welch, room 004. So if you randomly googling peoples rooms, welcome and i'm the guy next door, Index this! Hell, what have i got to lose, i'm know in a russia for petes sake.

BTW the title means 200th post in the language of the motherland And no, the motherland isn't south london.

Quote of the Day
Tim "It would be helpful, if you didn't mention how awful the press ads are, as we would like them to stay around beyond the first day"

I can't help it if i'm too real It was a joke first time, Ele liked it Not that her opinions carry any weight in my head what so ever...

Friday, September 01, 2006

Code Snippets

Having learnt PHP like yesterday, i decided that i might most some of my code. This function converts file sizes to user friendly Gigabytes, Megabytes, or Kilobytes.

//Convert bytes to higer values
function byteConvert($INPUT)
$temp = $INPUT;

//If it's over a Gigabyte
if ($temp >= 1024000000){
$temp = $temp / 1024000000;
$temp = round($temp,2);
$temp = $temp . " " . "Gb";
return $temp;
//If it's over a Megabyte
elseif ($temp >=1024000){
$temp = $temp / 1024000;
$temp = round($temp,2);
$temp = $temp . " " . "Mb";
return $temp;
//If' it's over a kilobyte
elseif ($temp >=1024){
$temp = $temp / 1024;
$temp = round($temp,2);
$temp = $temp . " " . "Kb";
return $temp;
//If' it's under a kilobyte
$temp = round($temp,2);
$temp = $temp . " " . "b";
return $temp;

Monday, August 28, 2006

Wine isn't that bad

No, this isn't about some alcholic adventure that i had over the weekend however i hear those maybe back in fashion with me heading back to uni. In fact this one is about my continuing journeys with Ubuntu Linux. Now first off i have the coolest desktop around, it spins, ripples, rotates, tints.

What we have here is Handhand basic, with the palm os Emulator for the Palm TX running natively in linux, with zero hacking. The only problem, is that the api call made by Handhand basic, for the fonts in the app preview pane, is unsupported by wine, so the fonts are screwed up some what. Otherwise it's kinda sweet. It compiles, and does all the things you expect, as for the emulator just works, rotates and does all the shiny stuff.

In non 1337 news, i return to university on the 23rd of september, i will have a little get together, hopefully even get Ele to come along,(how exactly that will work is another issue). Till then i'll send out E-invites :)

Quote of the Day


Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Return of the MAC

This isn't so much for you guys as it is for the people/devs in the 1 src forums, but this is how i roll develop my apps.

What your looking at is my Sweet XGL Ubuntu Linux twinview Desktop (I like adjectives). On the left side is VMware running Windows XP Pro, inside VMware is HB++, my palm dev IDE of choice. On the right side is the documentation running in swiftfox, an AMD athlon xp optimized version of firefox for nix.

The Real purpose, of this is to show my new application "MAC" which stands for Musical Alarm Clock. It's very early beta, but i wanted a name, so name away.

Quote of the Day
"It was like they just lifted the 13 quid off me the minute i walked through the door, it's the perfect crime, i had no recourse!"

Don't see Miami Vice, no matter how cheap you are the cost!

Saturday, August 19, 2006

College Dropout...

And they said idolizing musical artists is bad for young people, didn't hurt me...

Quote of the Day
Looks at dual 19" monitors, Two PDA's, Two SE Phones, 5.1 Speakers, stacks of CD's...
"I got too much stuff"

Ebay anyone...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

One of those days

This one of those few times, when i can sit down and say, i had a good day. Mainly because the blane of my existance for the last couple months, the DTF redesign got the nod from the general managers. By the way, never leave for a meeting without making sure the site actually loads first. Anyways that was great.

In another news i've fallen in love with a Comedy/Drama Called "Weeds" which comes on skyone, check it out, i'm burning a copy of season one for a friend.

I've also finished learning C, now and i'm moving onto Java, which i've done a little of, already this week. The Gung Ho learning starts next week.

Plus I've got photos from my Brothers wedding, i did create a site just for them, however these aren't exact professional shots, just some nice ones taken on the 750.
Nothing Like a Sun Flower
In the Limo on the way to the Reception
From the otherside of the ribon
My Mum worked for two days to get all the flowers done, but compared to what other members of the family did it pales into nothing-ness.
Blue Roses?
The Church where they got married, thats my cousin Helen, who was the offical photographer
My Brother, and my new Sister in-law, Tamara, the Brides step mother's head, and the cheif brides maid's head, Elair(E-lie-la)

Quote of the Day
Ele "I didn't have a boyfriend for like a year, and then my mum just asked me if i was a Lesbian, because if i was she was ok with that."

It's always nice to have the support of your parents no matter the issue or circumstance.

Alternative Quote
Dave "Stacy doesn't mind if i play games, she just goes and plays Need for speed"
Me "Where do you find these girls?"
Dave "I don't know they just flock to me"

Uncool cats need not apply in daves world, party on, excellent...

Friday, August 11, 2006

All nighter

At the moment it's something to4 in the morning. I've been up for about 21 hours. Currently we're in the flower market in vauxhall. I got some pics to boot.

So far i've eaten some great BBQ chicken. Had a arguement with my brother about crap,
Not slept.
Tried and failed to loop through putting values in a grid object.
And now we get to buy flowers.

fun fun fun

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Wedding Photos, 1st set

For those of you who are big on wedding photos, here are a couple (Three actually). All taken on my "new" SE k750i.

The Freshly married couple posing for pictures with friends. The Bride is my Cousin CollettMy grandfathers, sisters, daughters, daughter, they took the pics at a place called Coombe wood. The Groom is steven.

This is at the reception, As you can see the "top table"; featuring my cousins sister, Colleen; My Uncle Cleveland and Aunt Norma. Plus the best man and the grooms mother.

Lastly, Cake cutting time. Not bad pics for a phone.

Expect more on this theme, as my brothers wedding comes next week. Plus i'll throw up the rest of this photos on Flickr, for any of you crazy wedding=clock ticking people.

Quote of the Day
My Dad "How old are you now?"
Me "19"
My Dad "Oh, i thought you were 17"

An example of perfect parenting

Saturday, August 05, 2006

I found what i want for christmas

Now where to get $300k from ...

Donate va Paypal

Treating my friends better

As an introverted person i tend to treat those around like crap, at least in my opinion. I spend a little to much time with my beloved PC Blu-ray or Blu-buntu, Depends who ur asking, trying to work out how exactly a stream socket connection works, rather than getting pissed down at the pub, not that i associate drunkness with friendship.

My point is, that i kind of hide myself away, buried beneath my work (self-imposed or not). I would like to apologise to all of my friends if they ever thought i wasn't very "friend" like. I imagine that most of everybody will wonder what i'm on Poppers and LSD, but this sort of just came in to my mind.

Plus this wouldn't be a sterotypical blog without me whining about some sort mental, and personal issue...

So that is basically a "in" to say invite me to every party going, cause i'm a crazy nergo, who's wild and exciting, thanks to those of you who have pretty much always been there for me , with or without knowing it.


Also i found this post in my archives, i thought i ought to update it...

Taken on my ebayed k750i

Now if you excuse me, i must dash to bed, i have my cousins wedding to goto tomorrow.
This post has been rated R; Raving nutter of a programmer

Quote of the Day
"We better stop talking about bombs, before someone gets the wrong idea"

Tim and i often drift a little off topic...

Saturday, July 29, 2006

How, What, Why and prehaps even When

Blogger:- Someone who sits in front of their computer and does diddy squat, and then randomly posts about something.

Well, it's only a couple of months before i head off for the "sunny" shores of the south coast. Tell the truth, i'm excited, i'm not sure if it's the prospect of Drug influenced flat mates getting on with my course, but i really can't wait.

I got it all planned out, i think, Jokes, "in's", outfits, gags, drink preferences, party tricks, alternative names.

Anyways, i wanted to a have a final signoff with all my friends If your reading this chances are your my friend. I believe Underview is having a concert at indy jax, on the sept 9th, i should be out of here shortly after, so i think i'll make it my swan song, but then who said i can't have two parties...

Now if you excuse me i got to execute,


Quote of the Day
Tim said @ 5pm on a friday "I'm only just starting my daily work now"

Flash video isn't as easy as everyone makes out.

P.S. ECS rules do not apply to this page...

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

To my IE Brethen

You might have noticed are alot of things are broke in your browser, well here's a shocker for you, i really don't care. Let me put it in C in case you don't understand

#include <stdio.h >

int userBrowser

switch (userBrowser){
case (1){
printf("Danger, Danger IE Detected /n");
case (2){
printf("Welcome Lynx user! /n");
/* How user access to */

return 0;

Also i got a new best pal, and no we don't hold hands, or hug when we hear music, We look at overpriced hamocks, and perfume on ebay instead. You can see her severely out of date blog/site/thing here

Quote of the Day
Ele "It's made by a no-name indie production company, i had to sign a contract that said i couldn't get any money later, and i wasn't allowed to speak, I know it sounds like a softcore porn movie, but's it not"

The devil's in the details...

Monday, July 24, 2006

One Day i'll be loaded...

"Firstly, I didn't buy this ticket. But if you have to spend 14 hours on a plane, this is the way to do it. Luxury 'cubicles', an entire hollywood and music back catalogue with noise-cancelling headphones and an a la carte menu - not to mention a proper vintage wine selection."

Course you didn't

Thursday, July 20, 2006

It's really Hot

So hot in fact that i woke up at 5, after having to sleep downstairs. However it's better than it raining i guess.

Few things i can recommend to help pass the time

  • Aston Martin Rapide; Four door aston, besting looking car around

  • The C programming language; get your byte on

  • Apple Macbooks; where's my back to school deal mr. jobs?

  • Digg-mobile, shameless self promotion

In other random-ness
i write 6/7 programming languages now, this time last year i did 2.


In the next year i hope to bump it up and above 10 with
A little Ruby prehaps
and C# /.net

Now if i could just get french down...

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Getting My C on

I bought a C book on wednesday night, it on here on friday morning. It's a pretty good book it's called "Absolute beginners Guide to Learning C". It's so Good that by Friday night i wrote my first C Program. What does it do i here you ask?

It works out how much i get paid, and how many hours i work. For any fellow code heads, check it out.

/*Time card Calulator
Jonathan Dalrymple
July 14th, 2006
#include <stdio.h>

/*Declare the varibles for each day*/
float monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday;
/*Declare the number of days worked*/
float daysInWeek;
/*Rate of pay*/
float rop;
/*New varible to handle the results of our calculations*/
float hoursWorked, payExpected;

printf("Welcome to Jon's Payroll program \n");
/*Get info from the user*/
printf("How many hours did you work on Monday? \n");
scanf("%f", & monday);

printf("How many hours did you work on Tuesday? \n");
scanf("%f", & tuesday);

printf("How many hours did you work on Wednesday? \n");
scanf("%f", & wednesday);

printf("How many hours did you work on Thursday? \n");
scanf("%f", & thursday);

printf("How many hours did you work on Friday? \n");
scanf("%f", & friday);

/*Get value to dvide by
printf("How many days did you work this week?");
scanf("%f", & daysInWeek);*/

/*How much was the user getting paid*/
printf("How much were you paid?\n");
scanf("%2f", & rop);

/*Do the math*/
hoursWorked = (monday + tuesday + wednesday + thursday + friday);
payExpected = (hoursWorked * rop);

/*Return the results*/
printf("You worked %2f %s",hoursWorked," Hours \n");
printf("You should get paid £%2f\n", payExpected);

return 0;

Really simple, works nicely too, eventually i 'port' it into a palm os app. But for now it's as is.

In the meantime, i'm going to watch the new series of Stargate SG-1, with it's weird babies that grow up in 30 seconds.

Digg for Treo's and other Mobile Devices

It's not exactly Web 2.0, but here's a version of Digg for mobile devices (appoximately a 5kB download), It's pure CSS and Javascript. It's perfect for Treo's and other devices with qvga or larger screens. Currently it's read only, so no digging on the move, but when the Digg API is released, expect it to get better.

But the best part is i made it ^_^, yes me, Jonathan

read more | digg story

Friday, July 07, 2006

Now if only i could do this

I'm not a massive fan of table tennis, but check this out

Quote of the Day
Youtube vids on, my site, i'm clearly joining the trend army, where's that web 2.0 design?

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Blogging about nothing

Random thoughts from my head to html, kinda like that stream of conscience thing, but better, and in a list...

  • Why don't terrorist cells buy a mac, and use final cut? Does pixelated video increase the fear factor; "These guys can't edit video, imagine what they could do with a 'insert weapon of choice'..."

  • G.W.B. is 60, so that makes me what, 50-ish, explains a few things

  • Do all women (under retirement age) in argentina fit in a size 10, go to the beach half naked, and speak english...

  • Tv is so boring, no Battlestar Galactica, Stargate, Lost, Soprano's, all i've got to keep me going is Entourage...

  • I can't wait to go back university

  • I want a Macbook so bad

  • Big Brother is sadly the best thing on TV, bar the football

  • France will win, and i will continue to believe that zizou is the best footballer in the last 10/20 years

  • I really wanna go see some movies Superman pirates of the carribean etc, actually i'll sort that(no, i'm not going to download them)

Quote of the Day
"Where have you been the last couple of days, Prison?"

Disappearing for a few days and returning with no hair is not a recommended practice.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Why O, Why, One of my favourite if not my absolute favourite websites. Recently they rolled out Digg version 3.0, now don't get me wrong, it's great and all, but what the hell. You have great website aimed at techie's that isn't a fluid layout. Now my blog, isn't the best design in the world, but it scales, in every browser, and takes up the browser real estate. However digg, with designers so much smarter than i decided to have a fixed layout, sure the old digg did too, but for some of us, Mac users, and other power users, full screen isn't really a popular option. Digg, please fix it!

In other less rant orientated news, the Reunion went well. We all went out, i learnt a new word, or at least a meaning for an old word, beanie (it's no 4). I got turned away at the door of the club, cause uni dropouts, carry fake student id's, what can i say. Also viki bailed on us, as expected, but thats fine, her time will come ...

In other less opinionated news, wait, there is none.
Quote of the Day
Me "There are some real good books here, check out this one on Electrical Rectifiers"

The full house has a good section of literature

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Official Astley Cooper School 6th Form Class of 2005 Reunion

June 30th, 2006
at the Society bar
from 7.30 onwards

All attendees will be posted here

  • Jonathan

  • Mark

  • Dan

  • Bignall

  • Phil

as of 26th of June

See ya there

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

A Productive Evening

Well it looks like my time isn't all following down the Rhine.

This evening i've done a major (comparitively) overhaul on Hold on, my first app. Using functions and modules and such to clean up the code. I've also learned how to use some cool javascript objects which the lovely folks, at DSGi will be able to benefit from.

For the rest of this week, i'm pretty much on my own at work, my senior colleague Tim, has flown south, well south east actually for his holiday. While Steve, is on holiday further south than tim. Cryptic aren't i...

Anyways i should post up the latest hold version in a few days. And a few design tweaks to this wonderful blog, till then laterz.

Quote of the Day
Weed Smoker "You ever heard of a tulip?"
Me "Yeah, if your refering to the flower, but beyond that."

Do they ever stop with the new drug names?

These days

You may remember there was time where i had something new, and rarely ever funny every day. Well it all seems to have changed, well almost.

hopefully those days will return, especially as i consider myself a good writer, and somewhat funny to boot.

Must dash

Quote of the day
"Children in europe get grapes for christmas, children in africa get gun"

The harsh truth of our world as seen on yet another great documentary from the BBC

Friday, June 09, 2006

It's here

The new RSS is here

A months work in CSS alone!, but it looks ok, a few kinks to be worked out, so come use, and enjoy. I've tried to keep script to a minimum, and if you have firefox you get some special features.

I've also added my CV to the page, so you can read all about me, i'll try and keep that updated.

The page is pure xhtml, i've labeled it transitional but it could have been strict. I haven't validated yet, but we'll have to see.

In other news the big reunion is happening either this week, or next week, i would buy a k800 if i could, to get some nice pics for the blog, but i think the semi vga cam will have to do.

So come and be a part of the group.

Until the next update

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Index of 300 Full Length TV Shows on YouTube

(A follow up to my Cartoon Index.) There�s no garbage clips to weed through, just 300 full length episodes organized alphabetically: Doctor Who, Get Smart, Lost, Quantum Leap, Seinfeld, The Screen Savers, The Wonder Years, and more.

read more | digg story

Index of 500 Full Length Cartoons on YouTube

There�s no garbage clips to weed through, just 500 full length cartoons organized alphabetically: Futurama, JLU, Thundercats, The Snorks, Super Mario, Transformers, X-Men, and more.

They got my favourite too, Swat Cats/Kats

read more | digg story

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Where in the world is AlbertPacino?

Digg has a couple of celebs. The most well known is of course our dear friend Kevin, and his co-hort Alex. However there is one other user who is famed for his submission prowless, and his frontpage sucess rate.

AlbertPacino, is the name, and digging is his is game, or at least it was. I'm a mutual friend(only on digg sadly) of our dear friend albert, so sadly i don't have the answers, but i would like to know what happen to the guy. Sure we got guys like dirty fratboy, and snipehack who keep digg full of quality stories, but come on, Albert is the number one digger, even though he hasn't dugg or submitted a story in almost 4 months!!! Plus his Blog is just as empty as his profile.

He was the first real, well known digg user (after kevin and the digg crew of course). Asking for server logs isn't what i'm after, but i just wanna know that the guy is ok. 4 months is a long time, as a community i feel that digg( or at least some of it's members) ought to find out what made albert leave, at what was (and if you check the top users page) the height of his digging life. Finally is there anything we can do to help him out, we did it with pricerite photo...

Concerned Digg member


I love Technology

Not to state the obvious, but it really is cool. Many of you may know of my love for google maps. Well microsoft has had a similar app out for a while, called windows live local. And from an image quality and variety point of view it wipes the floor with google, it's not as fast, but sure is amazing. In fact it's got hi-res imagery of hemel, and my old/new haunt southampton. Even more amazingly i was able to snap this picture.

Circled in red is the actual room where i lived when i was at uni.

Pretty cool, i also got a pic of where i work now, and almost got one of my house. What makes this thing really cool, is the fact that you can see an image with actual depth, rather than just one with the tops of buildings.

And in case anyone wondered, i didn't do a post code search, i found using landmarks from the towncenter ^_^

Anyways, it's like 1am and got things to do, like sleep.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

CSS (sort of) rounded corners

Having seen a million rounded corner techniques, in the past. I used my minimal css knowledge to "create" my own.
Personally I love nifty corners, but when you want to use a background image, and not just a colour they just don't cut it.
Now if you look around my site, in anything other than IE, you will see it looks pretty crap, I've learned a lot about css in that time, and my skills nowadays are significantly better, honest.

So lets begin. This is my New websites header image, nice don't you think?
So I've round the corners on a photo in photoshop, not quite the whole story.
The green box on the left is part of the background image, but the right side is actually a floated div, containing a transparent png(gif's can also be used to allow it to work better with older browsers).

Now to achieve this I simply created a div that was located inside the "main" div where I have the background picture located. So the html looks like this

div class="header">
div class="header_curve">/div>
p>a href="#">Russian Space Station/a>/p>
p> /p>
Blogger wasn't rendering this right, so i remove the front of the tags to show you

The "header_curve", is used like a sliding scale, so it pushes against the right margin, and so expands and contracts with the parent element. To do that I used the following css

background:url(images/headerc.jpg) no-repeat;
background:url(images/curves.png) no-repeat;

The "header" class provides the height need to show the all of the image, and the image. While the latter class, contains the image we will use to cover up the right end of the image.

So what do the core images look like?
Well here's the background image

And here's the curve image

I've coloured it black, but you should make it what ever color your background is.

Ok, thats great, but there is one problem, the slider will slide right off the div and into who knows. To stop that we use "max-width" in the parent(or in the body tag like i have) element to limit the elements width, however our good friend ie6, doesn't support this property, but Opera & firefox do. I haven't tested it yet, but if fairly safe to assume safari and ie7 do. With a bit of JavaScript this issue could be solved.

Example time...
Now because of the way this blog's layout is designed, the content width is fixed, so anything I show you example wise will be static what ever :(, so blame me the bad designer, I had about 4 days worth of css knowledge when I built this...

So to show you here's a series of screenshots taken in opera, firefox, and ie6 to show what "my" technique does.

To wrap up, there a few things I should point out
This technique is best used with graphical headers, and not content(in my opinion at least)
If this is old, it's news to me, as far as I'm concerned I've never seen it anywhere else.
I don't consider my self a css whiz kid, I'm just a (big)kid
This isn't the best tutorial in the world, but I'm too busy to spend time making a real nice one, besides, my site sucks currently i'm better off spending time fixing it.

Finally if you have any questions leave a comment, and I'll try and get back to you.
Also if your wondering who the hell am I, I go as Veritech on Digg, and practically everywhere else on the web, I'm a 19 year old aspiring/professional web developer/programmer and a law dropout. I currently maintain some of the intranet sites for the one of the largest electrical retail companies in the UK, and that's me pretty much.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Gizmondo - the UK gaming firm that wasted £160 million in 18 months

In the words of Paul Davis of Begbies Traynor, one of the firms appointed as liquidators of Gizmondo: \"No matter how much you spend on cars, watches and directors perks, you just cant get through a sum as big as this quite as quickly as Gizmondo did.\"\r\n\r\nAnd here was i thinking setting a tech business was easy and cheap

read more | digg story

First Photos of MIT\'s $100 Laptop

The photos in the Flickr set are the first available pictures of the working prototype of the $100 laptop from MIT.\r\n\r\nHopefully this kinda of thing will eventually mean more geeks ^_^

read more | digg story

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Good night


As i gaff i'm walking home from seeing my new favourite indie band play.
Underview as they are known is formed of Mark, James, G-man, & Chris. I must say they are pretty good.

I had a good time, and i very much look forward to doing it again.

While i was there dan, had a gripe at me about the famed reunion, i need to find out when that wild bird aka Vicky gets back. otherwise lt is still very much on.

Anyways its 2 am, and sadly i'm ngt at uni so the nite is very much old.
till another time

Friday, May 19, 2006

New Site

For my three and a half visitors, the new site cometh, and it's gonna look sweet, so much to do and see

Flickr integration, Digg integration, Even a little google action, plus smooth corners, and it's optimized for firefox, and compliant with all 3 major browsers (anyone actually care about a safari?)

Coming soon... As is my bed

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I got a D in ICT at A level

So some of you may remember, that i got a D at AS level in ICT of all things, well Mr. D made his first Application today, it's called Hold on, the story of how it came to be can be found here.

The app it's self can be downloaded here.

Sadly it's a palm only app, that solves a palm only problem, it's version 0.01, so think extreme beta!

Sorry windows mobile suckers...

Garnet for life, or at least till the end of this year,

oh and before i forget, heres what it looks like

As i'm an Open kinda guy, the source code, all 14+ lines of it will be coming soon. I'm kinda of tired, now, and i got a contract extension too, so i'll be showing my 1337 css skills soon, (and no this site isn't an example of that)

Quote of the Day
Me "Damn all of that for nothing"

I was saying that until i actually tested the app ^_^ i love coding

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

New Look

As promised i'm working on a new design for the blog, this one will feature some cool css techniques, it's not only my personal page, but my CV in action, so expect some AJAX(cause you all know what that is), Flickr integration(yeah i got one), and maybe even some more cool stuff. I've only spent about 4 hours on the site so far, but it looks nice, but it's far from finished.

I'm kinda waiting to complete my 38" desk space... (i should order it tomorrow ^_^), anyways i took some web dev tests. Nothing special just a few quizs on w3schools
Html: 19/20

About fair, also i just got a brainwave, along with flickr and digg, i want to add some bookmark integration into my site, something that can be imported into firefox.... I'll get back to you on that one.

Until another time

Quote of the Day
"I hate people who sell the BiG issue"

So obviously paul from the apprentice, is real big on the homeless

Monday, May 01, 2006

Do before i die...

Everyones got that list of things, that they want to do before they die, right?

Well in recent times mines increased somewhat

First up on the list, i want to do the London Marthon, 26 miles of pure joy. I've penciled this one in for next year. Everyone will know by christmas whether i'm running walking or not. It will be hard on my body, but i think it's do-able.

Next up, i want to go to Hong Kong, this one is very easy, i just need 500 big ones, someone to go with and week off work/uni. The only thing stopping me at the moment, is the other travelling party, my mum can only go holiday time, by bro's getting married, and david isall you guys are busy buying new cars, or massive out of this world computer setups...

On the subject of cars, My final one, is drive the Gumball Rally 3000. Thats reasonable i hear you say. Well my ideas of style and comfort aren't. In case you didn't know it's a 40K , (and thats not monopoly paper) just to enter! This includes private air travel for you and your car (i'll get to that bit in a minute), plus 7 over night stays in 5 star hotels, and loads of parties.
So what would i drive... A C2, Golf, think a Ferrari 612 Scaglietti. So now your wondering, a. jon's nuts, and b. that costs like a zillion quid. Well actually i did my research, It's only £174,700 On the Road, inclusive of VAT, bargin, oh and i forgot to add in my special extras (24's, 100 cd disk changer, built-in mac-book pro docking station, wi-fi ...) So lets call it 190 after a visit to west coast customs.
Oh, and i have to get 2.1 million quids worth of crash insurance cover, the devils in the deets peeps.

So by my rough calculations, i need to be earning appoximately 200 to 250k (after tax of course) at least. With that amount i can get the car on finance,(18 monthly payments £10000 ^_^).
I got it all planned out...

Quote of the Day
George "Jon, can mass produce chip and pin cards"
Me "Like i said, only in quanities of 10"

I can't really, but i can make pretty good fake ID's

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Jon's gone legal(sort of)

Evening, coming at ya from the T|X, and my dining room.
Some of you may know i refuse to pirate music Unless you dump it on my pc. As a result my collection is a little bit on the cheap sideold side. Don't get me wrong 11+ GB of music is sweet, but it's not all that fantastic.
Enter All of Mp3. Although its legality is questioned almost as much as much as my sexuality once was, it is the only place to get charted popular Non-DRM'd music at high qualities. Plus the prices are ridiculously cheap. I bought 2 Albums for $3! both Mos Def.

Check it out you pirates

Incase you wondered,wyes i still torrent tv shows, but very very rarely movies. Hopefully a legal-ish solution cometh.

Now if you excuse me i got apply for my student loan, again.

Quote of the Day
Steve "You wanna watch it on my Powerbook?"
Me "Umm, Yes you never have to ask me to play with a powerbook"

I love those things, now if only there was a l2"...

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Blast from the past

Some may remember I'm packing 0.4 TB of storage in the Blu-ray. Well most of that is filled with copies of various things. While browsing through it I found the following gem. It dates back to my "I'm gonna be a rapper phase" which lasted a little while. I still have the 3 tracks I recorded cleverly hidden in my music folder, if you ask nicely I may trade for stamps, and milk. Any way here it is, it's a parody of the So solid crew song, 21 Seconds, entitled Party Political Broadcast. So without further ado...

Party Political Broadcast by Jonathan Dalrymple

Ha, ha, ha who ya voting for?

Lord Jeffery Archer:-
Megacon up first
21 years, no sh*t
I ain't got no time to campaign now
Hold this, yo g
Go by in a blacked out prison v
Archer can get two convictions easy
Seen my book in stores, other prisoners wanna jack me, stab me
Say come step to me,
That was the last thing that I saw, switch
I said mpÂ’s wanna see nigga, get rich
But niggas don't really want see MpÂ’s get rich
so niggas wanna see mp, get bitched
But mps don't really wanna be ditched

Charles Kennedy:-
C KÂ’s never fading
Second in term In office, sing while i'm bathin
L -D to the K's never phasing
I wanna tell my enemies that weÂ’re racing
So Lib dems, weÂ’reamazing
In a few g's we're bound to be over taken
Addicted to this life that I wanna be tasting
You blame me for the time thatÂ’s the parties been wasting?
Your hating, constituents, there's money to be making
Actor Mp never statin
Smokin weed as if I was Jamaican
So when you lookin at us you start hating
You need to be reinstating

Michael Howard:-
Thug of the tory, who could I be?
M wit the I to the C that's me
Thug of the tory, who could I be?
M wit the I to the C that's me
M-I-C still thuggin
Wanna shoot tony blair while hes clubbin
Ladies come around and leave cause IÂ’m buggin
Make g's like if Iwas robbin
tory haters they are
Watching an they're plottin an they're watchin my views
Watching an they're plottin an they're watchin my chews
Watching an they're plottin an they're waiting for my cues
Never gonna stop
Never gonna stop


John Snow?:-
I got 21 seconds to flow,
I got 21 programs to go,
Cause f yo like me let me know
Let me in the bbc studio
N give me 21 months before I got to go
Did you see me on the news, oh no
Did you see me on the news, oh no
So if you like me let me know
Let me in the itv studio
I got 21 broadcasts before I got to go
Did you see me on the news, oh no
Did you see me on the news, oh no
So if you like me let me know
Let me in the channel 5 studio
I got 21 broadcasts before I got to go

21 viewings, t-t-t
21 occassions, t-t-t
21 programs, t-t-t
21 times, t-t-t

*David blunketts mistress?:-
you got 21 seconds to pass the mic
I got 15 seconds to say what I got to say
i won't hesitate
DavidÂ’s not here to stay
We're gonna take it top
Cause I, a-a-a-a, twenty
Cause I, a-a-a-a, twenty
Cause I, only got 15 seconds fame to go

Gordon Brown:-
Some a them slippin a
Some a them a grudge me a
such a solid chancellora
Seen me on the telly a
Face getting popular
Ha, what?
Someone chatin crapin a
No disrespect tory policies are crapin a
Raise up the case
Worship the blairs
Red is my best colour
So labour, we are all players, instigators
Gimmie a rumour an make it famous
I send it back to you, and still get in the papers
21 months to sign papers

Kilroy Slik:-
Who wants to set your mind free
Cause I got the key
Turm em off an all my plan ukip can set you free
Trendsetter change like the weather her
21 secs, UkipÂ’s still better
I,you,don't know
You,you,don't know
So I had to have a show
An if you don't know please lemme know
Please lemme know
The papers had to snitch
Sad buggers had to go to the feds to get rich
I got spilt on my back
An insert the bit
An get paid all day long


Tony Blair:-
Every war I start
Every bribe I take
Every union I make
Every single mistake
Every promise I break
There's always a snake
Wanna get in no. 10, way
Through the tunnel
After 21 months and IÂ’m still in trouble
Iraq needs to reform on the double
Wanna double my cash
Wanna double my term
After 21 months, my moneyÂ’s still gonna flow
An if you step on my toe
Is Labour still gonna grow
When there on a high
When there on a low
Whether I'm on a rave
Or sheriÂ’s on a roll
sex it up

John Prescott:-
big up the waist line
I got 21 inches inside leg this time
First of all I'm gonna big up the kitchen ladies
chopping slender an fine
Mmmmmmm, mine
Don't gimmie no deadline
Gimmie some more time
Gimmie 29, months to lose this weight
Other Mp's wait in line
Talk to all the brighton fans,
I got 29 years till my diets done
2 multiplied by 14, plus 1
PrescottÂ’s done.

Comment as you like

Quote of the Day
nameless :"I wanna be Genesis"
Me "Genesis isn't a character in the bible"
nameless :"Well i wanna be Hebrews then"
Me "How about your Void instead, better yet how about you be Darkness"
nameless "There not in the bible!"
Me "ever read Genesis Chapter 1 verse 2, you know, the first page"

Walk before you can run....

And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

Genesis 1:2

Monday, April 17, 2006

Funny Way to Park a Plane.

"A Varig airlines cargo plane from Brazil sits parked at the Mexico City airport with its nose up in the air after the cargo was unevenly distributed on Wednesday April 12, 2006." - Yahoo Photo.

read more | digg story

Thursday, April 13, 2006

12 30-inch flatscreens mounted!

When friend of QJ.NET "Crazy Jon" called us and told us about a project this project, we didn't believe it. Then we got to his house, sure enough -- twelve 30-inch Dell flatscreen monitors are sitting in his office, and he's grinning from ear to ear. Also among the pile of goodies are six NVidia GeForce 7900 GTX 512mb video cards!

And phil thought his setup was sweet

read more | digg story

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Good things come to those who work

In the last couple of days it's been like christmas, I got my precious Abit AN7 and overclocked to 200mhz nivarna, A palm wireless keyboard, to go with my T|X. I'm actually typing this post on it. It's a full size keyboard that folds up into a little package about the size of your hand. Very cool, and not too bad.
I've just finished ordering a new 250GB hard drive for my PC, and i've got my next computer all lined up already.

Something tells me that i just might be a geek, who fails to live up to his need to blog post, and lusts after highend mac's and sony ericsson phones.
Apart from that latest shopping wave all is pretty much average in my life, nothing really amazing, and nothing terribly bad niether. If i'm honest thats how i like it to be, plain...

Quote of the Day
I know i need to tell you something, but i can't remember what.

My memory is the best

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Google Earth April Fools Joke

The folks at Google Earth have added some "visitors" as an April Fools Joke. Check it out before they decide to leave...

read more | digg story

Friday, March 31, 2006

All things work together for good

Today, another one of work colleges left the office for the last time. I had only known him for a week, but he was a nice guy. (If he googled my name, like I did his welcome.) Anyways, as I was saying he left today, I don't know why and it's none of my business anyhow.

To protect his identity I will call him DSGi no.1, Before he left he explained to me how he came to work in our department, and it's one of the best stories I've ever heard.

After finishing uni he found himself at working at a branch of currys. As time went along he saw that the the staff in general hated the stores management. So instead of doing all this whispering in-store, he created an on-line forum where the staff could vent their feelings far from the ears of the looming management.
He designed fliers, and posters, and helped organize the site, and all was well...

However the management eventually found out, and had his rear on a platter. He given an ol'skool dressing down in front of several regional big wigs, and admitted that he actually cried.

After this, he was told to go to head office, to meet another more senior member of management. While at head office, he was introduced to my/our boss, who told him of a position that had opened up in our department. He applied and two weeks later he was hired.

Great story don't you think. Put a smile on my face at least.

Quote of the Day
Ari Gold "When your girlfriend worked in the mail room, she offered to blow me, True story"

Entourage, Only on HBOAnd Bittorrent, and limewire, and kazaa, and..., on the funniest series ever

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Me, My job and Resolution

Hey everybody, just wanted to say i'm loving my new job, and i'm not only saying that cause this site is in the top ten, when you google my name (hi mr. boss man), but cause i love writting code if your using firefox ignore that last line
In other news, to match my nice 6800, T|X and my current 19" beauty, i'm getting another 19" beauty. 38" of Screen real estate, 2560 * 1024, and it's all so i can work comfortably. Seriously, it is, Honest.

It's a pitty i can't afford a new PC, but one a year is pushing it a little. In other news i visited our local night club, which i might add is pretty ... theres a word for it, ... tame... lackluster, ummm you get the point.

Finally although i'm very busy coding for the "man"(and a very nice man at that), please don't hesitate to call me up and invite me out,Please, i need to go out. I'm in town full time, and i can be funny everyother weekend.

Enough rambling for one day, i gotta go and do some work.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Navy Exchanges Fire With Suspected Pirates

Get this, the us navy sent 2 Ticonderoga Class Guided missile cruisers to hunt for pirates in 30 foot boats. Now if your not a geek and have no idea what a Ticonderoga Class cruiser is, here you go

Does it look big to you, cause it's huge! 10000 tons! It's expensive too, about half a billion if memory serves me right. These things where made to protect aircraft carriers, and hunt down soviet bombers and nuclear missles! Not pirates!

Let me put it another way, it was built to intercept multiple warhead equipped intercontinental Ballastic missiles travelling at mach 3 @ 100 000 feet, not to hunt down domestic pirates!

read more | digg story

Thursday, March 16, 2006

I got hired! (again)

It's your favourite neighbourhood programmer. I got employed! I start on Monday, working for DSG aka Dixons, as a "Website Adminstraitor". I'm getting paid what i consider big bucks. It's only for a couple of months, but the pays kinda sweet. Should tide me over nicely till university comes a knocking in september. So you may see me suited and booted on my way too and from the locale. Might even do a little shopping. W810 anyone?

Quote of the Day
Agency rep."They will be paying you 8 pounds an hour, are you happy with that?"
"Yeah, thats fine"

When i do stuff i like, i really don't need to be paid.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

I got your back (kinda)

For those of you who happened to be single, young, and somewhat hip, (thus excluding myself)and that noticed the government changed the laws on rape, i got something for you.
The New rules state that a male must have explict permission from the female, of positive consent, before they can legally engage in nookie. My estimation of "legal" is a bit more old fashioned than most, but thats another story. Anyways being the Law school dropout that i am, i decided to help out the swarming hoards of lads, with this...

It's a legal consent form, like the ones that the folks at school would give you to give to your parents. As you can see it hits all the major points, what's her name, what is her new title, etc. Whether or not this would actually stand in the court of law, is a different question, but picture this. Print a couple of these, and go out one night. Find a member of the opposite sex, start talking about random stuff. Just when you begin to tell her about the wonders of TCP/IP networking, slap this on the table and ask if she wouldn't mind signing it, we wouldn't want to forget now.

Ok, so maybe i'm the only one who thinks it's mildly funny, i was always notorious for laughing at my own jokes anyways.

Quote of the Day
"You wanna hug it out? Let's hug it out Bitch!"

My new favourite show, Entourage

Monday, March 06, 2006

XB-70 Gallery

Having just read this story at Digg. I thought i would post up a few pics that i have laying around of one the weirdest planes around. Enjoy.

Hope you enjoyed, if you did, digg it!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Because i'm too lazy

Ever get those email questionaires, well here's one
Instead of forwarding it for the 10 millionth time i tought i would post it here instead, thank Anna for it ^_^

Welcome to the 2006 edition of getting to know your friends. What you are
supposed to do is copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste it onto a
new-mail that you'll send. Change all the answers so they apply to you, and
then send this to a whole bunch of people including the person who sent it
to you.
Put your name in the subject line. The theory is that you will learn a lot
of little things about your friends, if you did not know them already.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
8:10 am
2. Diamonds or pearls?
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Ever heard of Bit-torrent? But seriously King Kong
4. What is your favourite TV show?
Stargate SG-1, I'm geek, hate all you want
5. What did you have for breakfast?
Monster Munch, M&M's and a Bounty Drink
6. What is your middle name?
I got two, Richard & Wesley
7. What is your favourite cuisine?
8. What foods do you dislike?
Dislike food, what planet does this joker live on
9. What is your favourite Potato chip?
Lay's BBQ
10. What is your favourite CD at the moment?
MOS DEF; Black on both sides
11. What kind of car do you drive?
You can drive in this game?
12. What is your favourite sandwich?
Chicken and Bacon
13. What characteristics do you despise?
Annoying girls, don't worry all you girls are ok, but my uni friends know who i mean
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would it be?
Hong Kong, Cheap electronics ^_^

16. What colour is your bathroom?
White, but my one at uni was cream, i think
17. Favourite brand of clothing?
Primark, i don't have preferance threads are threads
18. Where would you want to retire to?
somewhere with a nice view over a lake in europe
19. Favourite time of day?
early morning/sunrise
20. Where were you born?
West London, Hammersmith
21. Favourite sport to watch?
22. Who do you least expect to send this back?
I'm putting on my website, so no one
23. Person you expect to send it back first?
Trudi, she reads this place the most, kinda scary really
24. What type of detergent do you use?
DAZ, Keeping Britian White!
25. Coke or Pepsi?
Pepski, or flat coke
26. Are you a morning person or night owl?
I work till 2am most days so a bit of both
27. What size shoe do you wear?
9/10 & half
28. Do you have pets?
Does my T|X count?
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everybody?
I'm not gay, really
30. What did you want to be when you were little?
An Aeronautical Engineer
31. Favourite Candy Bar?
32. What is your best childhood memory?
My Holiday in America
33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life?
Technical sales advisor
Technical Manager
34. What colour underwear are you wearing?
Blue, i think, yeah blue
35. Nicknames?
Geek, Neek, Jon, Chocolate boy, Gay, Darling, White boy, Play Nigga
36. Piercing?
37. Eye colour?
38. Ever been to Africa?
I got african friends, i'm not racist honest
39. Ever been toilet papered?
nah, but i have been floured

40. Love someone so much it made you cry?
Once when i was like 12, good times
41. Been in a car accident?
Thankfully not
42. Croutons or bacon bits?
43. Favourite day of the week?
44. Favourite restaurant?
This place in St. Albans, real expensive but nice
45. Favourite flower?
I'm a computer geek, i don't know life beyond my LCD
46. Favourite ice cream?
Cookies and cream
47. Disney or Warner Brothers?
Who do you think made the Matrix?
48. Favourite fast food restaurant?
A Jamaican KFC (BBQ flavour chicken) or Subway
49. What colour is your bedroom carpet?
Cream with brown bits
50. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
How many points in Need for speed Most wanted do you need for that?
51. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? no 1 for low prices!
52. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?, lol
53. What do you do most often when you are bored?
55. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire?
no one really
56. Last person you went for dinner with?
My mates from uni
57. Ford or Chevy?
Everyone wants a Chevy, not. Ford F150
58. What are you listening to right now?
Kanye West, Niggas Gossip
61. How many tattoos do you have?
Ink under my skin, who came up with that idea!
62. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
The chicken
63. How many people are you sending this Email to?
The big ol' WWW
64. Time you finished this e-mail?
11.20 pm