The musing and sometimes not so wise words of Jonathan Dalrymple, Global Traveller, Programmer, Financial Rocket Scientist, Conspiracy Theorist, Part-time comedian, full-time funny man and whatever else i randomly decide to do.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
12 30-inch flatscreens mounted!
And phil thought his setup was sweet
read more | digg story
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Good things come to those who work
I've just finished ordering a new 250GB hard drive for my PC, and i've got my next computer all lined up already.
Something tells me that i just might be a geek, who fails to live up to his need to blog post, and lusts after highend mac's and sony ericsson phones.
Apart from that latest shopping wave all is pretty much average in my life, nothing really amazing, and nothing terribly bad niether. If i'm honest thats how i like it to be, plain...
Quote of the Day
I know i need to tell you something, but i can't remember what.
My memory is the best
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Google Earth April Fools Joke
read more | digg story
Friday, March 31, 2006
All things work together for good
After finishing uni he found himself at working at a branch of currys. As time went along he saw that the the staff in general hated the stores management. So instead of doing all this whispering in-store, he created an on-line forum where the staff could vent their feelings far from the ears of the looming management.
He designed fliers, and posters, and helped organize the site, and all was well...
However the management eventually found out, and had his rear on a platter. He given an ol'skool dressing down in front of several regional big wigs, and admitted that he actually cried.
After this, he was told to go to head office, to meet another more senior member of management. While at head office, he was introduced to my/our boss, who told him of a position that had opened up in our department. He applied and two weeks later he was hired.
Great story don't you think. Put a smile on my face at least.
Quote of the Day
Ari Gold "When your girlfriend worked in the mail room, she offered to blow me, True story"
Entourage, Only on HBO
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Me, My job and Resolution
In other news, to match my nice 6800, T|X and my current 19" beauty, i'm getting another 19" beauty. 38" of Screen real estate, 2560 * 1024, and it's all so i can work comfortably. Seriously, it is, Honest.
It's a pitty i can't afford a new PC, but one a year is pushing it a little. In other news i visited our local night club, which i might add is pretty ... theres a word for it, ... tame... lackluster, ummm you get the point.
Finally although i'm very busy coding for the "man"(and a very nice man at that), please don't hesitate to call me up and invite me out,
Enough rambling for one day, i gotta go and do some work.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Navy Exchanges Fire With Suspected Pirates

Does it look big to you, cause it's huge! 10000 tons! It's expensive too, about half a billion if memory serves me right. These things where made to protect aircraft carriers, and hunt down soviet bombers and nuclear missles! Not pirates!
Let me put it another way, it was built to intercept multiple warhead equipped intercontinental Ballastic missiles travelling at mach 3 @ 100 000 feet, not to hunt down domestic pirates!
read more | digg story
Thursday, March 16, 2006
I got hired! (again)
Quote of the Day
Agency rep."They will be paying you 8 pounds an hour, are you happy with that?"
"Yeah, thats fine"
When i do stuff i like, i really don't need to be paid.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
I got your back (kinda)
The New rules state that a male must have explict permission from the female, of positive consent, before they can legally engage in nookie. My estimation of "legal" is a bit more old fashioned than most, but thats another story. Anyways being the Law school dropout that i am, i decided to help out the swarming hoards of lads, with this...

It's a legal consent form, like the ones that the folks at school would give you to give to your parents. As you can see it hits all the major points, what's her name, what is her new title, etc. Whether or not this would actually stand in the court of law, is a different question, but picture this. Print a couple of these, and go out one night. Find a member of the opposite sex, start talking about random stuff. Just when you begin to tell her about the wonders of TCP/IP networking, slap this on the table and ask if she wouldn't mind signing it, we wouldn't want to forget now.
Ok, so maybe i'm the only one who thinks it's mildly funny, i was always notorious for laughing at my own jokes anyways.
Quote of the Day
"You wanna hug it out? Let's hug it out Bitch!"
My new favourite show, Entourage
Monday, March 06, 2006
XB-70 Gallery
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Because i'm too lazy
Instead of forwarding it for the 10 millionth time i tought i would post it here instead, thank Anna for it ^_^
...
Welcome to the 2006 edition of getting to know your friends. What you are
supposed to do is copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste it onto a
new-mail that you'll send. Change all the answers so they apply to you, and
then send this to a whole bunch of people including the person who sent it
to you.
Put your name in the subject line. The theory is that you will learn a lot
of little things about your friends, if you did not know them already.
1. What time did you get up this morning?
8:10 am
2. Diamonds or pearls?
diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Ever heard of Bit-torrent? But seriously King Kong
4. What is your favourite TV show?
Stargate SG-1, I'm geek, hate all you want
5. What did you have for breakfast?
Monster Munch, M&M's and a Bounty Drink
6. What is your middle name?
I got two, Richard & Wesley
7. What is your favourite cuisine?
Chinese
8. What foods do you dislike?
Dislike food, what planet does this joker live on
9. What is your favourite Potato chip?
Lay's BBQ
10. What is your favourite CD at the moment?
MOS DEF; Black on both sides
11. What kind of car do you drive?
You can drive in this game?
12. What is your favourite sandwich?
Chicken and Bacon
13. What characteristics do you despise?
Annoying girls, don't worry all you girls are ok, but my uni friends know who i mean
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would it be?
Hong Kong, Cheap electronics ^_^
16. What colour is your bathroom?
White, but my one at uni was cream, i think
17. Favourite brand of clothing?
Primark, i don't have preferance threads are threads
18. Where would you want to retire to?
somewhere with a nice view over a lake in europe
19. Favourite time of day?
early morning/sunrise
20. Where were you born?
West London, Hammersmith
21. Favourite sport to watch?
Football
22. Who do you least expect to send this back?
I'm putting on my website, so no one
23. Person you expect to send it back first?
Trudi, she reads this place the most, kinda scary really
24. What type of detergent do you use?
DAZ, Keeping Britian White!
25. Coke or Pepsi?
Pepski, or flat coke
26. Are you a morning person or night owl?
I work till 2am most days so a bit of both
27. What size shoe do you wear?
9/10 & half
28. Do you have pets?
Does my T|X count?
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everybody?
I'm not gay, really
30. What did you want to be when you were little?
An Aeronautical Engineer
31. Favourite Candy Bar?
Bounty
32. What is your best childhood memory?
My Holiday in America
33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life?
Technical sales advisor
CEO
Technical Manager
bum
34. What colour underwear are you wearing?
Blue, i think, yeah blue
35. Nicknames?
Geek, Neek, Jon, Chocolate boy, Gay, Darling, White boy,
36. Piercing?
lol
37. Eye colour?
Brown
38. Ever been to Africa?
I got african friends, i'm not racist honest
39. Ever been toilet papered?
nah, but i have been floured
40. Love someone so much it made you cry?
Once when i was like 12, good times
41. Been in a car accident?
Thankfully not
42. Croutons or bacon bits?
Croutons
43. Favourite day of the week?
Friday
44. Favourite restaurant?
This place in St. Albans, real expensive but nice
45. Favourite flower?
I'm a computer geek, i don't know life beyond my LCD
46. Favourite ice cream?
Cookies and cream
47. Disney or Warner Brothers?
Who do you think made the Matrix?
48. Favourite fast food restaurant?
A Jamaican KFC (BBQ flavour chicken) or Subway
49. What colour is your bedroom carpet?
Cream with brown bits
50. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
How many points in Need for speed Most wanted do you need for that?
51. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?
Ebuyer.com no 1 for low prices!
52. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Ebuyer.com, lol
53. What do you do most often when you are bored?
Play COD2, NFSMW, FEAR, CIV4 or DOOM 3
55. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire?
no one really
56. Last person you went for dinner with?
My mates from uni
57. Ford or Chevy?
Everyone wants a Chevy, not. Ford F150
58. What are you listening to right now?
Kanye West, Niggas Gossip
61. How many tattoos do you have?
Ink under my skin, who came up with that idea!
62. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
The chicken
63. How many people are you sending this Email to?
The big ol' WWW
64. Time you finished this e-mail?
11.20 pm
Javascript enlightenment
If i do it right, it will be sweet, using no images, and maybe even some SVG images(Pictures made from words basically). Well theres my thoughts on that.
In other news i would like to say thanks to Viki and shell for taking me out and trying to get me drunk on wine, it's the little things that count. It's nice to see that those of us who actually stay at uni have a nice time...
Finally i'm working on a name to put my software releases under, my mum gave me a few suggestions, however the more the merrier. I would like non-tech related names please, something that actually makes sense to the general populus. If you come up with a name that i actually like, i'll give you a 10% shareholding. If it's really good or if you name is phil you get 15% ^_^
later/>
Quote of the Day
"Until you got the hair cut i was scared to call you my child"
My mum always lets me know that i'm loved
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
My first App (sort of)
The concept is that the bots that do the "ripping" of email addresses ignore Javascript because parsing it would be dangerous, and could allow exploits to infect the bots. Therefore they only scan the code, and don't execute it. Therefore if you hide it within a simple javascript then they can't parse it, therefore the address doesn't get spammed, thats the idea at least.
While it's most likely not new, niether is it very complex, it works so here it is
//email anti-capture (EAC)
//15/02/2006
//Ver 0.01
//Jonathan Dalrymple
//veritech19@gmail.com
//www.rssv2.blogspot.com
//Place name eg. veritech19 below
{
var name = "veritech19";
//Place name eg. gmail.com below
var domain = "gmail";
//Place suffix .com .net etc below
var suffix = ".com";
document.write(name + "@" + domain + suffix)
}
//To save space, rip out the comments before applying
In the future i plan to build a form based generator for it, so if dynamically generates the code for you, and introduce some complex statments to make it a little harder to parse, Plus a "if" statement that would test to see if your human ^_^
Enjoy, more to come from the lab in short order
Quote of the Day
Mum "Is the bathroom clean?"
Me "No, i sprayed my dirty bath water up and down the walls a couple of times, and rub it in if you want."
It's nice to be back at home
Monday, February 13, 2006
One for the road(somewhat late)
{This post was meant to be posted last year on christmas eve but thanks to the proxy server it never made it, so here it is}
Evening
As i tap (on the T|X course) i'm on a national express bus on my way home. For some strange reason i'm really happy. Why is it strange that i'm happy? Well i'll give you some background
I've worked 8 9-6 shifts back 2 back.
I've cooked almost every meal i've eaten for 3 months.
I haven't eaten a proper meal in 2 months.
I haven't used bit torrent in 3 months
Anyways thanks to the wonders of batteries, flash memory, GPRS, and Microwaves, i'm gonna write a poem and post it on my blog all while travelling on a bus at 50 Mph.
One for the road...
I'm on the road now
I got to find a place some how
i quit my course, but not cause it was fowl.
the internet is where it's at,
law is great, but i'm not good at that
i decided to switch
but that created a itch
no course and in halls
my prospect falls
in rush i make phone calls
..
Ok, it needs a little work
5:50pm
Monday, February 06, 2006
Promise of a Threat
Anyways currently in the development pot is a some javascript that will transform a normal desktop page webpage, designed for 800*600 into a version for handheld users at 480*320 or 320*240. How much "bank" will this net me, nothing, i do it for the love, and the fact that i'll paste my name all over the source code ^_^
Now if i'm gonna be some budding open source developer (who does .net work on side to pay the bills) i need a company name, right? Well i think so cause this whole "Dalrymple" name doesn't wash, any suggestions are welcome. Tell ya what anyone who comes up with a good name gets shares in the company... final amount to be decided nothing over 5% though, so board seat here.
Must go, laters
Quote of the Day
"Whats the difference between a threat and a promise, the tone and the sentence subject, for example i will kill you, i will help you; one word both are promises and depending on the tone, both could be considered threats"
It makes sense to me
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
L33t coda is coming back too the hood
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Tech appears
In other news i'm not moving back to hemel, but i got a room in a very nice house. I move in on the 25th. If i can work out how to do it, i'll put a counter/ count down up. Hopefully i won't go to crazy with the javascript, for your sakes.
Till another time, later
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Return of the blogger
I'm still in fair old southampton. I'm working every day from now till christmas eve. Now the nice thing is that my flats virtually empty. Out of the ten of us there is only me and ashley left, and we both head out on christmas eve. The same is true for most other people. It's a nice atmosphere as a result. As a result we spend a lot of time in other flats, hang out, and winding down, after serving the fair public of hampshire.
Now the big news of the year is that i'm changing course, thats right, halt any crimes, as i won't be able to defend you! Instead i'm going to do "Internet Application development" with will allow me to do cool "AJAX"(Asyncronous Javascript and XML), like gmail and such. Why the change i hear you scream, well law is hard, not impossible but hard. Unfortunately i don't believe i'm passionate about the subject, or at least not enough to get a 2/1.
However there is one problem, my course doesn't start till september, so i'm gonna try and sort something out, and might possibly end up moving out of halls for 8 months, do the whole holding down a job thing, and then restart next year.
As of yet, i don't think i'm moving home, or at least i don't want to, as i would have to give up my job, which i a, like; & b, will need next year.
Well how about that oil depot, and nothing happens in hemel...
Finally i'll try and see as many of you as i can when i get back, i might only be around for a week as i need to get back down here and look for somewhere to live, but in honesty i kinda miss you all
Merry christmas everyone, and i'll see you soon
Quote of the Day
"boom, boom, play it forward"
Don't ask, but a friend
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Christmas, what's that?
Sorry I got excited for a second there. I just finished my Constitutional Law Assignment, which has like 20+ quotes from actual government legislation. Sounds like fun, don't you agree? Anyway I have to hand it in later today, plus I got another one to do for next week.
Just to update one and all I'll make my return to the "hood" on Christmas Eve, as I have to work so I can have two weeks off, after 4 months of almost constant work, life is one big balance I like to think.
But as I'll be
For yet another day/week/month take care everyone
Quote of the Day
Girl at vending machine "Your Scary, you scared me"
Me "I'll take that as a compliment; I've heard funny, annoying, but never scary"
what's wrong with a Kid with a Hood standing behind a woman at 1am in the morning, in a car park? Doesn't everyone do that?
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Free Time; a funny concept
Tired i am too, but hey, thats life. I like money, and i like knowledge, so i'm getting what i asked for, 4 assignments too, it's all a bit crazy really.
As i'm mentally knackered, i'm not gonna write much, i gotta save that for my essay. I don't know when i'll update again, but if you ever want to contact me quickly email me @
verisys AT bluebottle.com
The email's go straight to my T|X handheld, so i'll read it on my uni/work/
Quote of the Day
Dr. Lars "Turkey's don't ask for christmas"
Me "Turkey's are the lucky ones, what about chickens"
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